Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 11
Season Three, Episode Eleven
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Air date 5 July 2011
Written by Dave Cohen, Gerard Foster, Jon Holmes, Giles Pilbrow, Laurence Rickard, Ben Ward, & Ben Willbond
Episode guide
Episode 10
Episode 12

Horrible Histories - Series 3, Episode 11 was the 37th episode of Horrible Histories, having first aired on the 5th of July, 2011, on the CBBC.

This episode includes a pirate chef disgusting the judges on Historical Masterchef & a Stone Age man appearing on Dragons' Den with his innovative inventions. Plus, a look at the odd marriage of Mary I & Philip II of Spain, & the Victorian paramedics offering their bizarre medical advice to a modern patient.


Terrible TudorsEdit

Philip & Mary's Love StoryEdit

The not-quite-love story of Philip & Mary is retold in the style of a graphic novel.


Tudor Sugar-Paste ToothpasteEdit

Elizabeth I endorses Sugar-Paste Toothpaste.

Putrid PiratesEdit

Historical MasterchefEdit

One-eyed Bart, PirateEdit

A hippie buccaneer finds having an extra hook comes in handy.

Pirate Weather ForecastEdit

Vile VictoriansEdit

Victorian EastEndersEdit

The SewersEdit

“Victorian EastEnders” tells the story of one family’s aspirations to move on up through the sewers

Historical ParamedicsEdit

Victorian paramedicsEdit

Treating a collapsed victim with bacon, potato, & the sheer fabulousness of top hats.

Savage Stone AgeEdit

Historical Dragon's DenEdit

Stone Age Dragon's Den (Part 1)Edit

Ug tries to invent ‘fire’ but is running out of time.


Main article: The Ages of Stone

The complicated eras in the Stone Age are explained through song. 

Historical Dragon's DenEdit

Stone Age Dragon's Den (Part 2)Edit

A distinctly ‘grown-up drink’ is among the innovative ideas.

Groovy GreeksEdit

HHTV SportEdit

A day at the Ancient Olympic GamesEdit

On-the-spot coverage of a typical day at the Ancient Olympics.

True or FalseEdit

In the Ancient Greek Relay Race, the baton the runners ran with was on fire. 

True: So they had to be careful at the handover that they'd grabbed the right end. 

Stupid DeathsEdit

Milo of CrotonEdit

The famous Greek strongman learns that brawn doesn’t always beat brain, & Death starts to get the hang of Sudoku puzzles.

Slimy StuartsEdit

Historical Pet ShopEdit

Rupert of the RhineEdit

Rupert of the Rhine wants a dog that does a very specific set of tricks.

Historical Don't Tell the BrideEdit

Stuart CoupleEdit

A young man plans a less-than-romantic elopement. (parody of Don’t Tell the Bride)


Terrible Tudors Putrid Pirates Vile Victorians Savage Stone Age Groovy Greeks Slimy Stuarts
Philip & Mary's Love Story Advertisement Historical Masterchef Pirate Weather Forecast Victorian EastEnders Historical Paramedics Stone Age Dragon's Den Song HHTV Sports Stupid Deaths Historical Pet Shop Historical Don't Tell the Bride
Part 1 Part 2
Mathew Baynton x x x x x x x
Simon Farnaby x x x x x
Martha Howe-Douglas x x x x x x
Jim Howick x x x x x
Laurence Rickard x x x x x x x
Ben Willbond x x x x
Susie Donkin
Lawry Lewin
Alice Lowe x x x
Dominique Moore
Rhashan Stone
Giles Terera
Katy Wix
David Baddiel
Terry Deary
Tanni Grey-Thompson x
Rattus Rattus (voiced by John Eccleston) x
Jon Culshaw
Jess Robinson
Dave Lamb


External Links Edit