Horrible Histories - Series 1, Episode 5
Season One, Episode Five
Air date 14 May 2009
Written by Mark Blakewill, James Harris, Jon Holmes, George Poles, Steve Punt, Arnold Widdowson
Episode guide
Episode 4
Episode 6

Horrible Histories - Series 1, Episode 5 was the second episode of the Horrible Histories TV series, having first aired on the 14th of May, 2009 on the CBBC.

This episode includes a priest making pigs, Emperor Caligula declaring war on the sea, & some other disgusting stuff.

Sketches Edit

Awful Egyptians Edit

Advertisements Edit

Pharaoh Phashion Edit

Pharaoh Phashion magazine offers beauty tips for peasants & aristocrats.

Mouse Fresh Max toothpaste Edit

Ruthless Rulers Edit

Pig Piano Edit

Louis XI & the Pig Piano, with special guest Simon Cowell.

Measly Middle Ages Edit

HHTV News Edit

Taking a census from the Domesday book Edit

William the Conqueror's Funeral Edit

William the Conqueror’s increasingly unusual funeral.

Rotten Romans Edit

Caligula's War Edit

Caligula declares war against Poseidon, god of the sea.

Savage Stone Age Edit

HHTV News Edit

The Stone Age Report Edit

Imagine Spots Edit

A Homo sapiens couple invites the local Neanderthals to dinner.

Smashing Saxons Edit

Court of Historical Law Edit

Ethelred the Unready accusing Ted Edit

Ethelred the Unready determines a horse thief’s guilt via ordeal by cake.

Twisted Fairytales Edit

Goldilocks & the Three Bears Edit

Gorgeous Georgians Edit


Join the Georgian Navy! Edit

Historical Hospital Edit

Montague Fuzzlepeck, Georgian Doctor Edit

‘Master of medicaments’ Montague Fuzzlepeck diagnoses a patient.


Awful Egyptians Ruthless Rulers Measly Middle Ages Rotten Romans Savage Stone Age Smashing Saxons Gorgeous Georgians
Pharaoh Phashion Mouse Fresh Max toothpaste Pig Piano HHTV News William the Conqueror's Funeral Caligula's War HHTV News Imagine Spot Court of Historical Law Twisted Fairytales Join the Georgian Navy! Historical Hospital
Mathew Baynton x
Simon Farnaby x
Sarah Hadland
Martha Howe-Douglas x x x
Jim Howick
Laurence Rickard
Ben Willbond
Lisa Devlin
Susie Donkin
Javone Prince
Steve Punt
George Sawyer
Giles Terera
Katy Wix
Terry Deary
Meera Syal x
Rattus Rattus (voiced by John Eccleston)
Jon Culshaw
Jess Robinson


  • For the only time in the history of this series, so song was included in this episode. 

External LinksEdit